It's My Goodbye
by L.M. Rhyn
Summary: It's Serena's moment of despair, of remembrance. She goes through two days of her life in depression, of memories of her loveDarien. He's gone, but she'll remember him always. And if she believes that she'll see him again, she might just make it through t
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: **This one-part fic was for a Story Challenge hosted on AI (Aria's Ink). The challenge was to post a one-part story that reflected a song, but not use any of the lines from the song. The second chapter reveals the song and the lyrics I used. nn; Anyway, read on!

**Summary: **It's Serena's moment of despair, of remembrance. She goes through two days of her life in depression, of memories of her love--Darien. He's gone, but she'll remember him always. And if she believes that she'll see him again, she might just make it through this time of pain.

* * *

Today had started out like all the other days. Lifeless. Depressed. Angry. It had started out like this every day for the past two weeks. It's like nothing in my life can ever be right again; it's like nothing could ever make this pain disappear. To ease it, if just a little.

I had felt such vivid emotions, such happiness and gaiety... And now I'm stuck with this utter loneliness that leaves me dreaming of him and of what we had. I'm stuck in this endless void of emptiness and it's like hell.

I looked at my calendar. Today was the day--the final day for my denial. I had to face it. He wouldn't be returning. He _couldn't_ return.

I swept back my blonde hair and tried not to cry for the dozenth time. My eyes were still swollen and sore from the last time I had broken down and broke my promise of not crying over him.

I've been missing him so much, and since I never had the chance to make my proper farewell, tomorrow would be the day. I only wish it wasn't so.

"Serena...? It starts at eleven, tomorrow. Will you be ready?" My mother's voice came out soft as she stood in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Mentally, Mom? No. Mentally, I'll never be ready." My voice came out hoarse. It cracked in the middle of my reply. I closed my eyes and didn't repress the shudder that wracked my body. "I miss him so much, mom." Tears that seemed to never dry up had filled my eyes again.

I looked at my mother through cerulean eyes that were dull and tired.

"I feel cold all over, all the time." Laughing joylessly, I turned to face my vanity table. "I'm going to drive around. I'll be back later."

"Alright, Serena. Be careful, okay? I love you." I knew she was looking at me with pity and regret. Pity for the daughter who had to go through this heart-wrenching pain. Regret that she let me fall so deeply for him. Her footsteps faded as she left to go downstairs.

I pulled on a sweater over my tanktop and dragged on shorts. Grabbing my keys, I ran down the stairs and out of the house. The screen door slammed shut behind me.

I got into my car and gasped with the memories that flooded my mind. Him laughing at another one of my blonde moments, the way he'd hold me whenever we were out together. I missed him and I never thought I'd feel this way, and yet I do.

Turning the ignition on, I stepped on the gas and peeled out of the driveway. Nothing could possibly be the same. Ever.

* * *

_"Blue or green?"_

_"What?"_

_"Answer me; blue or green?"_

_"...Blue?" I tried to see through the cracks of his fingers. I tugged on his wrists, but he wouldn't let go. He had led me away from my locker and was now taking me in circles. And I couldn't see!_

_"Good. That's the color I painted it." He turned me around and took his hands off my eyes. I looked at him, him with his signature I-can-melt-your-insides smile._

_"Painted what?" I searched his face for an answer in the midst of my confusion. His response was merely to point his finger over my shoulder at something behind me._

_I turned. And gasped._

_"Happy birthday," he said._

_I was faced with my car...only with a different paint job. It was **my** blue car. My once ugly-shabby-gray-now-blue car. He'd borrowed it for the weekend to go pick up a cousin from the airport, since all he drove around was a motorcycle. And that obviously wouldn't fit any luggage._

_I turned, laughed, and jumped into his open arms._

* * *

The light turned red and I tried not to imagine the pain he'd felt in his last moments.

"Life is so unfair," I cried bitterly to the night. The line seemed so cliché in a moment drowning in anguish.

If I just went with you that day, would things be different? What if we were supposed to have been taken together? Oh God.

* * *

_"Are you going to come?" His azure eyes sparkled as he tugged on a curl of my hair gently. "I promise you that we'll be able to steal a few moments away from the group. If you don't come, I'm stuck on a motorcycle for two hours." He attempted a pout._

_I laughed and stood on my tiptoes for a kiss. Such sweet and loving kisses I always received. Our emotions were always apparent when our lips locked in the most primitive language._

_"I'd love to, but I'll have to pass on the hike with the group. I've got to clean out the garage with Sammy." I rolled my eyes. "Mom thinks working together will improve our sibling relationship."_

_"All right, well--"_

_He was cut off when my cell phone rang._

_"Shit! It's mom! I'm late!" I hugged him and ran to my car as he watched me go._

* * *

I never even said goodbye.

I stopped the car and shifted the gear into park. I was here again. At our spot. Right on time. But he'd never show up. He would never be back. And after tomorrow, I would never see him again.

Leaning my forehead against the cool leather of the steering wheel, I pictured him in my mind.

He was so handsome with his jet black hair and laughing blue eyes. He was tall and leanly built. He was the perfect one for me. He chose me when he could have had any girl in our school. I loved him. Oh, Darien.

As I sat, I wondered if he could be here with me. Could he possibly see the utter chaos my world had become? Our love had morphed into another four-lettered word. Pain. But what sweet pain it had been while it had lasted, when I dare let myself remember.

Whenever I allowed myself to think that I might be able to see him after this life, my world returns to normal, but always only for a moment in time.

I sighed and looked at the digital clock in my car. It was late. I put my car back into drive and headed home. Tomorrow would be my ultimate challenge.

* * *

"Serena, it's time." My father was outside of my room, on the staircase, handsome in black.

"I'll be down in a moment." He nodded and went downstairs.

I looked at my reflection. I couldn't do this. I couldn't say goodbye, even though I really wish I had done so before. Had I had the chance...

I dropped my head onto my dresser and hugged myself. Sapphire blue eyes stared back at me from the mirror that was connected to the dresser-top.

I didn't hear the padded footsteps enter my room. Nor did I realize that I had shifted my gaze and sat staring at the last photo he and I had taken together.

"Serena." It was Raye.

"Raye..." I looked up to face her, and I tried so hard not to just collapse in her arms and start crying. Really, I tried. But it seemed that no matter how hard I tried, when it came to him, I just break again inside.

She patted my back comfortingly. "It'll be all right. You'll see." I looked at her, and her violet eyes were every bit as miserable as mine.

I stood up and took hold of her hand. "We'll be able to do it."

Dressed in all black, my family, Raye, and I left the house.

* * *

_"Do you love me?" He grinned at me, picked me up, and spun me in circles through the halls of our school. We laughed happily as I clung to his shoulders for support._

_It was our last year of high school._

_"Yes, you idiot! Now put me down!" I shrieked when he dropped me suddenly to pull me into a tight embrace._

_"Then promise me you'll always be mine, and that I'll always be yours." He held me so close his scent invaded my senses._

_"Yes." I hugged him tightly._

_"I love you."_

* * *

We were there. I stepped out of the car, a bouquet of roses in hand. We headed into the church where family and loved ones would speak of Darien Summers.

This is it, Darien.

I walked to the back of the church where his casket lay.

"I miss you so much, and I'll always love you. I'll see you soon, one day in heaven." My fingertips traced the lapel of his jacket.

"I never said goodbye then, so I'm saying it now," I whispered to the pale and rigid form of my former love.

I laid the flowers on his chest. Tears misted over my eyes as I tried to find some life sign. I wanted this to be a joke. He would just jump up and say, "April fools!" while I threw a fit about his inconsiderate humor. But I knew it wasn't.

A single tear slipped down my cheek and landed on his. It slid down the pasty cheek that had once been tan and full of life. So many memories were locked in that tear, so many promises, so many memories.

And because I'd said my goodbyes, and I couldn't face staying at his funeral for the rest of the day, I left, with the promise to see him again. I knew that if he'd made it to heaven, he'd watch over me from above. And one day? One day I would find him.

Goodbye, sweet love.

* * *

That's it. So, how was it? Could you figure out what song this was from? ; Did you find it difficult/easy to figure out? It was 'View From Heaven' by Yellowcard.

Anyway, to critiquing: What did you like? What didn't you like? Did it match the song well enough? Did the pace of the story go too slow or too fast? Feel free to give an honest critique. D

I'll post the lyrics up on the next page.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: View From Heaven**

**Album: Ocean Avenue**

**Artist: Yellowcard**

I'm just so tired

Won't you sing me to sleep

Fly through my dreams

So I can hitch a ride

With you tonight

And get away from this place

Have a new name and face

I just ain't the same without you in my life

Late night drives

All alone in my car

I can't help but start

Singing lines

From all our favorite songs

And there are melodies in the air

Singing Life just ain't fair

But sometimes I still just can't

Believe you're gone

And I'm sure the view from heaven

Beats the hell out of mine here

And if we all believe in heaven

Then we will make it through

One more year, down here

Feel your fire when it's cold in my heart

And things sorta start reminding me

Of my last night with you

I only need one more day

Just one more chance to say

I wish that I had gone up with you too

And I'm sure the view from heaven

Beats the hell out of mine here

And if we all believe in heaven

Then we will make it through

One more year, down here

You won't be coming back

And I didn't get to say goodbye

I really wish I got to say goodbye

And I'm sure the view from heaven

Beats the hell out of mine here

And if we all believe in heaven

Then we will make it through

One more year, down here

I hope that all is well in heaven

Cause it's all shot to hell down here

I hope that I find you in heaven

Cause I'm so lost without you down here

You won't be coming back

And I didn't get to say goodbye

I really wish I got to say goodbye

* * *

So yes. That's it. :D Review and tell me what you all think, ne? I don't think I have to say this, but I will just for people who think I actually own this song. I don't own it! XD 


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